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    Reverend James Encinas
    May 08, 2020
      ·  Edited: May 08, 2020

    Processing Loss

    in Tool Box


    One instruction: Listen generously to your heart.


    First Step - Using the journal process write these things down very concretely.

    • Remember a story of loss from your own life.

    • A time when things didn't go your way.

    • When you were disappointed.

    • When you lost a dream or a relationship or even a family member, a death.

    Second Step - Write these things down very concretely.

    • Remember a time of disappointment and loss and remember someone who helped you during that time.

    • What did that person do?

    • What did they say?

    • What message did they deliver that were helpful to you at a hard time in your life?

    Third Step - Write these things down very concretely.

    • Remember a time of loss in your life and remember someone who wanted to help you but was not able to help.

    • What did that person do and say?

    • What message did they deliver, and how did they deliver the message?

    Last Step - Make a big list.

    What are all the things that helped?

    • Examples “Listened to me for as long as I needed to talk.” “Talked to me in the same way after my loss as they did before my loss.” “Sat with me.” “Touched me.“ “Brought me food.”

    What were the things that didn't help?

    • Examples “Gave me advice without knowing the full story.” “Made me feel that the loss was my fault.”


    *Listen generously to your heart.


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